


Dudes Don't Date Dudes

by solangeloandotheradorablethings



Category: PJO - Fandom, Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, pjo hoo - Fandom
Genre: Angels, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, babeys, cute shit, have high hopes and low expectations, it looks dumb but it's cute i swear, solangelo, they hold hands and everything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-09
Updated: 2019-12-15
Packaged: 2021-02-25 05:55:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 3,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21731188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/solangeloandotheradorablethings/pseuds/solangeloandotheradorablethings
Summary: He opens his eyes. And Nico is there, eyes closed, lips parted; as though he were embracing the fall at the edge of a cliff. The tips of his fingers conduct heat from the back of Will’s neck. And oh, he looks so pretty. So, so pretty. Like all the stars and glass in the universe couldn’t possibly compare.And he wants it. He wants to be here. In the present, with his arms around Nico and his hands in Nico’s hair. He wants it. This.And that’s why Will kisses Nico first
Relationships: Nico di Angelo & Will Solace, Nico di Angelo/Will Solace, absolute kings, babeys - Relationship, don't even look at me - Relationship, the bois - Relationship
Comments: 9
Kudos: 49





	1. Glue

**Author's Note:**

> Happy birthday Dragon/Official Parental Unit #01! Gnarliest dude-bro out there et je pense que tu es radical! Fingers crossed that you'll enjoy this! I couldn't have sifted through the incoherent first draft without @SpencerMalloy/Swanky Parental Unit #02 (thank you so much Spence, you have the official rights to my internal organs).

“Oh,” is the first thing Nico thinks to say, “Uh, you’re not a girl?” he decides that he is never speaking ever again,

“And _you’re_ not as creepy and old as I thought you’d be,” Nico just stares, “We have to go in about ten minutes, want coffee? Apple juice?”

“You’re- you’re a _dude_.” Nico picks at the cuffs of his clean white shirt and quietly figures out how he’s going to zip his mouth shut,

“Indeed. Hi, by the way, I’m Will.”

“That’s a cool name,” Nico mumbles. He fiddles with his tie; he spent so long trying to get it right, he can probably do it in his sleep now,

Will smiles and opens the door wider, “You’re cute, do you want to come in?” Nico doesn’t want to come in, and he doesn’t want Will to smile so kindly at him either,

“You’re a boy!” he exclaims. All that time gelling and taming his hair, all for nothing. “I’m a boy!”

Will frowns and his eyes go all cold and empty, “So?” Will hugs his fluffy robe tightly around himself and crosses his arms,

There was one very big rule in the chaperoning industry; never (ever) under any circumstances (any) upset a customer. And Nico was just about to break it, big time, “Dudes don’t date dudes.”

Will slams the door on his face and Nico kisses his job goodbye.


	2. Boy vs Boy

“Will!” Nico knocks on the door until his knuckles are red and sore. He can’t let the night end like this, he  _ can’t  _ lose his job. “Come on, man! Let me in! I’m sorry, alright? What did I do wrong? Was it my hair? I- I can re-gel it!”

Will’s voice slithers through the other end loud and clear; “ _ Oh fuck off _ ,” followed by a very stern, “Do you have a jacket?”

“No?”

The door creaks open a bit and a pair of damp blue eyes stare back at him, “Alright, you can come in, but only because my mom would get mad at me if I let you freeze to death,”

Nico scratches the back of his neck and half waddles, half jogs inside, “S- _ oh _ ,” Nico isn’t used to not breathing so it comes as quite a shock when his lungs give up at the sight of an obnoxiously tall, strangely laid-back teen in a suit, “You have- you wear? Clothes?”

“Yeah, I tend to do that, sorry to disappoint,” Will slides to the fridge with socked feet, how he doesn’t get tangled up in his own limbs is a mystery, “And no, by the way; your hair looks- fine.”

“Um, is it because my tie doesn’t match yours? I- I have spares?” Will’s wearing a very nice white suit with a white tie and a black button-up shirt, which would go perfectly with Nico’s white button-up shirt if his tie were black instead of red.

Will snorts and throws a bottle of apple juice at Nico’s face. Luckily, Nico is an experienced dodgeball player, so he doesn’t wince too much from the impact, “Guess again,” followed by a very stern, “Sorry, did that hurt?”

“No,” it did, “Oh! It was my breath, wasn’t it? I have breath mints, don’t worry,”

Will gives him an incredulous expression, “‘ _ Dudes don’t date dudes _ ,’ sound familiar?” Nico stays silent, he’s learnt it’s best to people talk but Will doesn’t say anything he’s supposed to say. Like; ‘ _ get out of my house _ !’ Or, ‘ _ get lost _ ,’ instead, “Sorry. I won’t yell,”

“Wait, what? Are you trying to tell me that, boys can- you know?” his incomplete sentence disintegrates into sudden silence as it leaves his lips,

Will frowns, his face is so soft and crumpled up that Nico thinks he’s going to cry, “I don’t know,” he whispers. Nico really hopes he doesn’t. He’s not sure what he’s supposed to do with his hands, “But I do.  _ I _ date dudes,”

Nico doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do with his mouth or his voice either, “Sorry, I’m- um, sorry. I didn’t-” Will shrugs and hoists himself onto the counter; his legs almost nearly touch the floor and Nico’s the tiniest bit mad about it, “Um, can I still be your- dude? Date! Can I still be your date?”

Will smiles tiredly and slight dimples fragment his cheeks, “If you want the money I’ll give it to you,” he’s already reaching into his pocket and pulling out his wallet before Nico processes what he says,

“Wait, no that’s not what I- I feel bad, I didn’t mean to upset you and I want to make up for it,”

Will looks at him like he’s afraid he’s having a prank played on him. “Are you serious?”

“Absolutely.”


	3. Yellow Lights

“Uh, I- usually hold hands? With the  _ dude _ I’m dating,”

Nico wipes a clammy palm on his pants, “Oh- sure,” he’s still not used to how clean and expensive looking Will’s car is or how big his bedroom is. (He had to go inside to get another tie -black- and, upon Will’s motherly insistence, a blazer -also black, what an emo-. Thank god Will’s height is mostly leg and not upper body.)

“Jesus!” Will yelps, snatching his hand away the second Nico’s fingers come into contact, “You’re fucking  _ freezing _ ,”

Nico smirks and hovers his ‘fucking freezing’ hands over Will’s cheek, “My bad,” he’s not all that sorry when he grabs onto his face and Will screeches an unholy battle cry.

They run a red light,

It’s exhilarating.


	4. Bottled Smile

“Right, so you’ve been my boyfriend for about a week now. We met in a joint piano class and got together two days later.” Nico feels like he’s supposed to take notes but one hand is holding Will’s and the other is in a fist. “Got it?”

“You play piano?” Nico asks. Will wiggles his eyebrows, bringing their intertwined hands up to his lips to warm them with his breath, “And no, not at all,”

“Great! There’s my buddy Pipes, don’t say anything stupid,”

“Jokes on you,” Nico mutters under his fresh, minty breath, “I’ve got a case of dumbass-itis and it is, sadly, incurable,”

Will laughs and Nico’s insides go to mush, “Hey! Piper!” some girl in a white suit (she almost wears it better than Will) and sneakers greets Will with an overly complicated handshake and a nod, “How’s it going?”

Piper gives Will a look and he gives it back. Nico feels the tiniest bit left out before Will waves their hands around like a fleshy trophy, “Hey,” Nico says as nonchalantly as he can with a face as red as the solo cup in her hand,

“Who’s this little thing?” she coos. Will snorts and Nico frowns.

“This is my new boyfriend,” boyfriend. New. The words feel funny in Nico’s head; how many boyfriends had he had before? Not that they were _actually_ dating, of course, “Isn’t he adorable?”

Nico scowls and shoves Will’s hand away from his perfectly gelled waves, “Watch the hair, Solace. And I am _not_ adorable,” he pouts, helping his situation greatly, “Hi, by the way; I’m Nico.”

“Isn’t he a cutie?” Will squishes Nico’s cheeks and Nico elbows him in the ribs. “Oh, come on, Sunshine, admit it,”

_Sunshine_?

“I hate you,”

“You love me,”

Nico’s throat runs dry. In the corner of his eye, he sees Piper’s bemused smile, “Unfortunately,” he grins. He’ll die before he lets his mask slip. 


	5. Artificial

It’s suffocatingly dark and the pale neon lights make Will’s freckles look like flecks of gold, “Do you drink?” Will yells, Nico barely hears him. It reeks of fog machines and bubble mixture,

“No,” Nico has to say it three times before Will hears him, “Do you?”

“The only drink I allow in my Christian suburbs is  _ water _ ,”

“What!?”

“Water!”

“Huh?”

“I don’t drink!”

“Nice!” music crackles against the walls and Nico’s skull, he wouldn’t be able to hear Will if they were only a centimetre apart, which they are, “Do you dance?”

“Horribly!”

“Brilliant! We’ll go together nicely,” he’s not sure why he says it like that. Will smells like head-and-shoulders-apple-scented-shampoo (a  _ very  _ manly smell) and he’s not sure why he notices. “Shall we?”

Will looks him down for a bit, “We shall,” his voice is barely audible, and Nico has to read his lips to decode it. He’s not sure why he doesn’t look away.


	6. String

“Will?” Nico pants, his hair’s come unstuck and falls around him like a curtain of dark, sweaty, ringlets, “Where are you going? They’re playing the macarena!”

“I’ll be right back! I see my friend!”

“Do you want me to come?”

But Will’s already gotten tangled up in the sea of bodies and strobe lights.


	7. Solitude

Nico doesn’t know what to do with himself now that he’s alone. He’d been introduced to practically half of the people here, but that still wasn’t enough to keep him from being another face in the crowd.

“Neeks!”

“Jason?”

“What are you doing here?” Nico’s known Jason since the day he first started at CHB (Chiron’s Hustling Business- he doesn’t like the name either, but it pays well enough to deal with student debts),

“I could ask you the same thing!”

“My girlfriend invited me! Her name’s Piper!” It’s a small world, huh? Nico wonders how Piper feels about her boyfriend being a chaperone, “Don’t worry! She’s cool with it!” Nico’s not sure if he spoke aloud or if Jason just knows him that well,

“Oh! Uh- I’m here with-”

“His boyfriend.” Nico feels like his bones could collapse with relief in his body when he feels Will’s arms loop over his shoulders.“Me. Hi! You’re Jason, right? We met at Piper’s birthday?”

Jason stares blankly for a minute and for a moment, Nico thinks he’s really  _ not  _ supposed to date dudes. But then he remembers he doesn’t  _ actually  _ date dudes and Jason speaks up, “You and- Will?” Nico shrugs and clumps his hand with the one Will has draped over him. He’s a good actor. “For real?”

“Yeah,” Will’s a good actor, too, “Anyways, babe, I’ve gotta show you the pool room! You’ll love it,”  _ babe _ .

“Since when did you play pool?”

“Since now, apparently, later, Grace,” Nico says awkwardly,

“Uh- yeah, okay, bye Nico, bye, Will.”


	8. Cards

“What was that about?” Will’s eyes are blown so wide they’re like twin moons, “Where were you?”

“Feel my hands! They’re shaking!” since they were already  _ holding _ hands, Nico decides to ignore his request, “He- Paolo! And I- we!”

“What are you on about?” Will leans giddily against the pool table and Nico feels as though they’re handcuffed together, “Who’s Paolo?”

“Paolo’s the birthday boy,” for some reason, Nico already doesn’t like him, “He’s been my crush since forever!”

For some reason, a sickly feeling spits in Nico’s gut, “Did you- hold hands?”

Will spares him a look that could not be more distant, “Not really,” it’s only then that Nico notices Will’s untidy blond curls, the undone top button, his slightly chewed bottom lip, the purple below his jaw stained over his freckled skin,

“Oh,” yeah,  _ oh _ . “So why the Hell am I here?” the curse goes stale in his mouth, in his Christian suburbs, he doesn’t take the word lightly.

The spellbound expression on Will’s face fades, he looks about as discarded and despondent as he had earlier, when they’d first met, “You have to be here,” he’s a different kind of distant, now. Like he’s stuck. “I  _ have  _ to bring someone with me.”

“Says who?” Nico lets the jaded cold seep into his voice; surfeited. “You don’t have to do  _ anything _ .” So this was it. He was a bartering chip. 

For acceptance, Will used him for his presence. For Paolo, he offered jealousy. 

Used. 

He  _ used  _ him. And Nico was the damn fool who let him.

But that was his job, wasn’t it? The fine print.

It’s only then that he realises how comfortably odd their hands feel interlocked.


	9. Small

“What’re you doing here by yourself?” Nico’s not all that sure what to do himself and Will’s left him to go make out with Paul (Pierre?) or something, “Boyfriend troubles?”

Nico just about jumps out of his skin when he hears  _ that  _ word, “No!” somewhere in the vastness of Jason’s eyes, storm clouds and dewdrops bleed together. It’s nothing like the simplicity of Will’s but Nico can’t help but think of him, “We’re not-”

“Actually dating?”

“How did you-”

A slow dance hums through the speakers and for some reason he’s worried that Will’s off somewhere in the kitchen, stumbling drunk, with some guy who isn’t him, “You don’t seem like his type,”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I just mean- because he’s so non-committal and all,” nor is Nico, so really they should fit quite wonderfully, “And cause- you know, he’s  _ Will  _ and you’re-”

“What am I?” his head’s swollen, thick with thoughts,

“Neeks- look, don’t get me wrong, you’re fantastic, you’re like a brother to me,” for some reason it feels like he’s being turned down by a guy he never asked out, “But Will doesn’t seem like the guy who’d go out with someone like-”  _ you _ .

It’s because he’s Nico.

It’s because he’s not Paolo.

It’s because he doesn’t date dudes.

“Like me? Who  _ exactly  _ is someone like me?”

Jason catches the scar on his lip with a tooth, scratching the back of his neck as though he would rather be anywhere else than here. Maybe Nico was just cursed with the power to repel tall, attractive blonds with blue eyes. 

“He’s not like this,” he finally says, “Piper said- well- it not  _ you _ . Something about people expecting him to… he’s insecure about a lot of things- and Paolo is-. Well, it’s just that-” his voice falls short. 

“Good talk,”

He doesn’t date dudes. He doesn’t date dudes.  _ He doesn’t date dudes _ . But why, then, does his heart choke his throat so tightly, so mercilessly? 

He doesn’t date dudes.

Jason doesn’t go after him.


	10. Beans

His limbs are limp, and an invisible puppeteer holds him upright and drags him into the kitchen. Will’s there (how did he know he would be there?), he’s not drunk but he’s not quite himself either. His clean white blazer’s gone, he’s wearing some fluffy red shawl instead; his tuxedo shoes have been replaced with mismatching high heels and his curls have been engulfed by a wide-brimmed black hat,

He looks utterly incredible.

He’s sitting on the table, dangerously close to a fruit bowl. He’s leaning lazily over some jacked as shit boy with a short-sleeved button-up and scarlet lipstick; he’s got tattoos stitched over his arms and the name  _ Paolo  _ scrawled all over him.

There’s someone else on Paolo’s lap, too. Someone who’s not Will. Will doesn’t look the least bit deterred; he is positively lovesick.

Nico  _ hates  _ Paolo.

And he hates Jason and this stupid party and maybe even Piper too. He hates Will for making Nico’s head all funny. He hates Will for ditching him. He hates Will for making his heart all fuzzy. He hates Will the most.

He feels sick. The colours bleed into each other, the room softens at the edges, the past eight servings of definitely spiked punch catch up to his head, the scent of apple shampoo and dettol and axe body spray wrap him up like a morbidly nostalgic present, he feels so weightless that he floats and his feet forget to touch the floor,

It’s quiet, for a moment. He can’t hear a sound.

And then his body caves and he heaves the night from his lips.


	11. Shirt Sleeves

Someone’s holding his hair out of his face and someone’s rubbing his back. He can’t see who, but he knows that Jason’s there, “What am I?” he tries to look around the room, but his eyes are full from the effort, “Who am I?”

He thinks that he might want to date dudes.

What is he?

But not really  _ all  _ dudes. Maybe just one, for now.

Who is he?

“God,” his vision is kaleidoscopic. Was that weird? “Your hands really are fucking freezing, Sunshine,”

Holy shit; he wants to date a dude.


	12. Heat

“I think I should go,” he’s tired and it’s getting late. Piper smiles kindly and offers him bottled water (not a plastic one, mind you; save the environment or choke on mother nature’s wrath). She radiates warmth, he can tell why Jason likes her.

Will rakes a hand through his hair and it becomes apparent that he gave his hat to Nico, “Yeah, we should; shouldn’t we? C’mon, let’s tell Paolo, then we’re off,”

Will reaches for his hand and Nico is compelled to take it.


	13. Goblin

“Will!” Paolo pronounces his name like there are two, impossible to pronounce syllables but he says it so carefully poetic that Nico’s a bit greedier with how he holds Will’s hand. 

“Hey!” Will squeezes back, just as tight, “We’re just about to head off,”

Paolo frowns and Nico hates to admit that it hardly mars his features, “Already? But we haven’t had cake yet!”

“Sorry, my boyfriend felt sick. It’s getting late, anyway,” Nico’s a bit smug when Will says-  _ that  _ word. Even when static crawls beneath his skin, “Save me a slice?”

“Of course!”


	14. Soundless

“ _ Told you _ ,”

“ _ I bet I’d be able to change him _ ,”

“ _ Will Solace can do a lot of things _ \-  _ but he’ll never settle _ .”

“ _ Another one? I thought he was dating _ \-  _ what was his name? The hot one _ ?”

Nico blocks them out, but Will hears every word. He listens. But he doesn’t let go of Nico’s half-frozen, slightly clammy, probably puke smelling hand,

And he doesn’t let go for a very,  _ very  _ long time.

‘ _ I get it, now. _ ’ Nico wants to say, ‘ _ I get it, okay? I understand! _ ’

But he remains pitifully silent.


	15. Shoes

“Bloody hell,” Will groans, he’s sober but he’s walking and talking drunk out of his  _ mind _ , “Why’d I park so far away? It’s fucking impossible to walk in heels,”

Nico snorts, “Wanna swap?” Will looks at him pleadingly and Nico’s amusement resolves into sympathy, “C’m’ere you goof,”


	16. Late Nights

“How the hell are we even remotely the same size?”

“I’ve got big feet!”

“You’re a literal clown, I am dating a clown,”

“Don’t shame me like this!”

They’re so giddy that they forget they only met a few hours ago, “Hey, it’s 11:11! Make a wish!”

Nico snorts again, “It’s 1:11, moron,”

“It is? Shit!” he yanks Nico off the ground and shoves his phone in his pocket, (when’d he take that out?) “I was supposed to make mom dinner!”

“It’s’okay,” Nico reckons he could taste the panic residing in Will’s eyes, “You can make her breakfast,”

Will smiles and tilts his head back, so the stars glean across his sweat stricken cheeks. Nico catches a glimpse of the dull purple mark on Will’s skin. “Yeah, I’ll do that.”

“Don’t think you should drive in this state,” the streets are empty but they’re both truly bat-shit.

“Guess we’re stuck.”

“Yeah. Guess we’re stuck,”


	17. Games

“Spotto!”

“Red cars don’t count as taxis, idiot,”

“No! I mean I see my car!”

“ _ Finally _ ,”

“I won’t freeze to death!”

Nico feels a bit bad for stealing Will’s shawl, “I’m so tired. Carry me!”

“Fine, but I get to pick what song we play,”

“Jesus, alright then, I’ll walk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for those of you uncultured hell swines *cough* SpencerMalloy *cough* who don't know, spotto is what yo say when you see a taxi


	18. Talk

Inside’s not much warmer than outside because Will refuses to have both the radio and the heater on at the same time like any other sane person would, (save the environment or die a horrible, climate change, air pollution-induced death, he says) “M’cold,” Will yawns,

“Then turn the heater on,”

“I’d sooner freeze!”

“But I’m cold!”

“Why’d’n’t you say s-so?” Will’s voice catches on a yawn. He turns the heater on.

“I didn’t get to slow dance with you,” Nico’s voice creaks in his throat and his body singes beneath his skin from the hopefulness.

Will gives a slanted sort of a smile; unruly and uncertain. “C’mon then,” Nico’s not sure what he’s supposed to do with his fucking hands, “Shall we?”

He swings the door open and Nico turns the volume up until it fills his soul, “We shall.”


	19. Pinky Finger

“ Can you even slow dance to Taylor Swift?” Nico feels jittery, like he’s emphasising the wrong words, speaking the wrong language,

“Guess we’ll find out,” and he feels so  alive , in the strangest of ways, “Are you nervous? I’m nervous. I’ve done this before, why am I nervous? Sorry, I’ll shut up now,”

“I’m terrified,”

“Brilliant,”  We’ll go together nicely . “Uh- how do we do this?”

Nico shrugs, “We’ll figure it out,” he doesn’t have a clue,

“Um, right,” he sits his hands just below the small of Nico’s back and Nico slings his arms around Will’s neck, “It’s like- an awkward hug?”

“Yeah,”  You Belong With Me  blasts in the background and Nico truly resonates with such awe-inspiring lyrical  genius , “Uh- but we dance,”

‘Right, we dance,” it really not much more than a synchronised shuffling of feet and tipsy swaying but they make it work, “Can we- can we make this hug slightly,  less , awkward?” 

“What’d you have in mind?”

“Uh,” Will smiles sheepishly, “I was hoping you’d lead?”

All he has to do is move a little closer.

“Show me?” Will moves his head into the crook of Nico’s shoulder. “How did you kiss Paolo?”

“Do you really want to know?” Nico feels Will’s breath and his body and his voice. “Well, I’m not telling you,” he answers. “And anyways, I don’t kiss dudes,”

Nico pushes their cheeks closer, tangles their arms until they’re a finger and a limb from merging together completely, “You don’t?”

“They kiss me.” Nico hates the words that come from Will’s mouth, and yet he is entirely obsessed with them, “Show me, how would you kiss Will Solace?” he smiles a bit, and Nico does too. He likes talking in third person, like they’re writing a story.

Slowly,

Slowly ,

They begin to unravel, “I can’t.”

“Why not?”

What’s keeping you ?  What stops Nico di Angelo?

“I don’t know how to.”

“We’ll figure it out,”

“Promise?”

He doesn’t. 


	20. Lips

Detached. 

Poor little Will, always so caught up in his own head in the clouds.

Could there  _ be  _ a less heroic way to perish?

Poor little Will, with his lungs too congested from all his held in breaths. And his fragile bones made solely of fragile glass. And his eyes too focused on the stars. 

Stars. Do people turn into stars when they die? Or are they simply reduced into- ashes?

Is it hard? To love so much? To have so much? To be so much? Always  _ so much _ ?

He opens his eyes. And Nico is there, eyes closed, lips parted; as though he were embracing the fall at the edge of a cliff. The tips of his fingers conduct heat from the back of Will’s neck. And oh, he looks so pretty. So, so pretty. Like all the stars and glass in the universe couldn’t compare.

And he wants it. He wants to be here. In the present with his arms around Nico and his hands in Nico’s hair. He wants it. This. 

And that’s why Will kisses Nico first.


End file.
